All of us are surrounded with faces. Old or new, each face belongs to a unique identity. A person’s identity creates a personality filled with both positive and negative traits and includes all of their idiosyncrasies. For me and many others, having and expressing an identity has always been a struggle. Feeling trapped by the social norms of society, I have relied on my ability to stay hidden as a way to conceal who I am. Similarly, Ellie Chu in the new movie The Half of It experiences what it’s like to have to live a life where you’re never truly yourself. Living in a small religious town that’s majority white, Ellie Chu, a closeted Chinese American, endures a journey that helps her reveal her identity to the ones closest to her. Not only did this movie teach me how to be bold, but it also taught me that life isn’t worth living if you’re not yourself. With the help of her best friend, Paul Munsky, and love interest, Aster Flores, Ellie Chu comes to important realizations that help metamorphosize herself. Before her journey, Ellie was perfectly fine with growing old in her hometown and initiating no change. She had no intentions of revealing her sexuality to anyone beyond herself. However, a single sentence uttered by Paul changes her perspective: “It would suck to have to pretend to be ‘not you’ your whole life.” Similar to Ellie, I’ve always felt perfectly fine living a life where not many knew about my personal life. I had separated my personal and social life, refusing to let close friends see what goes on once through the closed doors. Listening to Peter’s words impacted not only Ellie but also me. I realized that coming from a broken family doesn’t mean that I need to hide that part from my identity. At the climax of the movie, Ellie shouts the words, “Love is being willing to ruin a good painting, for a chance at a great one. Is this really the biggest stroke you can make?” This quote caused me to question if I was really living the life I wanted or deserved. Hiding behind my family’s complicated divorce for the past few years seemed to get me through the day, but was this really how I wanted to continue living my life? When arguments between my parents got too damaging (the police were called), I would see my neighbors looking from inside their windows. Not only did I feel envious that they didn’t have to experience this time and time again, but I also felt embarrassed that they were unwanted visitors peering into my life. I often related these feelings towards my close friends. I didn’t want to have to feel embarrassed for sharing who I was and receiving what I thought would be pity. However, after watching this movie, I have learned to attempt to try to make the “biggest strokes” in my life. I want people to see my whole identity, not just bits and pieces of it. I want to prove to myself that I can become vulnerable, even when every ounce of my body tells me not to. In making the big strokes, I accept the possibility of paintings getting ruined; however, I choose to embrace this messy and transformative process. As much as I want to show everyone my entire identity, I don’t want that one “thing” to define me. In the beginning of the novel The Fault In Our Stars, Hazel Grace feels as if her identity falls under the single label of “cancer.” Similarly, I don’t want to appear to my friends and family as the “girl who’s going through a messy divorce.” I’ve hid these experiences due to the fear that if I were to expose them, they’d overpower all the other aspects of my identity. In the words of Augustus Waters, “It's a metaphor, see; you put the killing thing right between your teeth but you don't give it the power to do its killing.” I’ve come to understand that I am in control of my own identity. Despite being vulnerable, I’m not giving my experiences the power to “kill” my entire identity. What were once my weaknesses can now be my strengths as I live life making the boldest of movements. Having characters to relate to, even if they’re fictional, help to remind me that I am not alone in the hardships faced. I used to believe that all my friends would have the same reaction. This ignorance unfortunately prevented me from realizing that I was wrong in my assumptions. My friends have provided me with sympathy and compassion during the times when I have needed it the most. My concern of no one being able to understand me has slowly chipped away as I begin to open more. Having an identity is an extremely important part of life, and I no longer wish to have an incomplete one. Every step I make towards fulfilling my identity aids in my personal progress. As my painting acquires more and more strokes, I won’t be afraid of the new changes that they’ll bring.